Did you know that the longer a couple is married, the more likely they are to STAY married?
For example, only one marriage in 1,000 divorces past the thirty-year mark.
But in early marriage – you gotta be careful…
That’s right – the majority of divorces occur in the first three years of marriage, and the next bulk in the next four years (you know – somewhere between the fourth year and the “seven year itch” year…).
So it’s impressive for a marriage to survive past seven years – especially in “celebrity years” – since the average celebrity marriage only lasts FOUR.
One celebrity couple that has defied the odds is Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith.
They’ve been married a whopping eighteen years.
Which is surprising given all of their obstacles… She’d been married three times before (twice to the same man – Don Johnson, in case you’re too young or too old to recall :)) and they were both married when they met.
(Ooops…)
She’d had a history of drug abuse, and stints in rehab, as well as two children by two different fathers.
They were from different cultures (her being part of “Hollywood Royalty,” raised in Los Angeles by mother Tippi Hedrin, star of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and New York by her producer/actor father) and he being from Spain…
And yet, they’ve been married since 1996 and have a daughter together. Sadly, in the last few years Melanie was back in rehab, battling her problems with alcohol again, and sightings of Antonio publicly flirting and romantically dancing with other women started to make for Tabloid fodder…
And after much speculation and wondering, yesterday they released a joint statement saying they are amicably, lovingly ending their marriage, with Melanie filing for divorce and asking for full physical custody of their seventeen-year-old daughter.
So, how did they make it this far in spite of all of their initial obstacles and differences, and why is it over now?
Let’s go to the astrological vault, shall we?
Not surprisingly, they both have impressive stars…
When it comes to partnership, BOTH of their charts indicate marrying a foreigner.
This can be seen through what are called the “nodes of the Moon” – Rahu and Ketu.
Rahu and Ketu, a.k.a. the North Node of the Moon and the South Node of the Moon, are not actually planets, but instead are mathematically calculated points where – when the Sun and Moon line up at these places – eclipses occur.
They are extremely important in astrology.
Wherever they are in the chart will be an area of tremendous change, upheaval, and “destiny.”
Both Melanie and Antonio have Rahu in their house of partnership, the 7th house (“houses” are sections of an astrology chart that reflect different areas of the life) and that’s an indicator of many things…
Having Rahu there tends to make people partner with EITHER a foreigner (which they both did when they got together) or an addict (which she did with Don Johnson, and then he did by marrying her) or someone somehow unusual, unconventional, or very spiritual. (She has a lovely, inspirational website in which she recommends meditation and new-agey books…)
Rahu in the house of partnership always creates a great longing for relationship.
(Melanie has said that in her early years she drank herself to sleep if she was single, because she was unhappy without a relationship. And even though Antonio was already a big “heart throb” when they met, he jumped into marriage again with Melanie as soon as he was divorced… making him a “marrying man.”)
Rahu indicates what we focus on a great deal – even what we obsess upon.
So people with Rahu in their house of partnership love having a partner, and so tend to have many marriages or marriage-like relationships.
(My own beautiful sister has Rahu here, and she’s been in relationship overlapping with relationship since the second grade all the way into her forties with almost no “single time” – I am NOT kidding! :))
As for their compatibility, they have some very lovely things going on.
One of the most beautiful “love connections” two people can have is when they both have Venus in the same sign.
And, yep – Melanie and Antonio have such a celestial blessing, as they both have the planet Venus in the sign of Leo.
(It’s noteworthy that Venus is in a “fixed” sign in the sign of Leo – which is a sign that makes a person’s loyalties and love connections “fixed” or lasting… Both of them having Venus in a fixed sign has helped them stay together, and makes me believe they still love each other now, as they’re claiming…
If you want a man to stand by YOUR side no matter how much drama you put him through – look for that – my hubby and I have the same thing, and we celebrate our 17th anniversary this year! 🙂
Venus is the planet of love, pleasure, and joy – and when it lines up in one person’s chart with itself in another person’s chart, they can’t help but love each other.
(I see this connection in the charts of married couples all the time… ahh…)
These international love-birds also have one of my very favorite HOT chemistry combos (her Mars is also in Leo, with his Venus – wowza!), making them very attracted to each other.
But to see their EMOTIONAL affinity and compatibility, let’s look to the fifteen-step technique of an ancient compatibility technique from India, used for centuries to arrange marriages.
(You see, you can have that TRUE love feeling, and that HOT MONKEY LOVE feeling with a man that you can’t be emotionally fulfilled by. This amazing technique explains why…)
There are many dynamics this technique reveals – all through comparing two people’s Moon constellations, because it’s the Moon, not the Sun, that reveals your psychology and how you RELATE to others.
There are so many ways to “slice” the Moon constellations. They each have a nature, an element, a gender, a temperament, a sensibility, etc.
Not surprisingly, Antonio and Melanie’s Moon constellations are VERY well disposed…
They are in the position of “friends and family” to one another – so they’ve been more than just romantic partners.
Marriage studies show that THE MOST important thing cited by both men and women in relationships is the underlying FRIENDSHIP between them…
There are three steps in this technique that are EXTRA special – if a couple has ANY of these “special three” they’ll feel MEANT TO BE and like they’re soulmates.
Antonio and Melanie have TWO of the three!
One of them has to do with being able to instinctively know what the other needs and wants, and being able to provide it. (They have this one MUTUALLY for one another – which is extremely positive for when they went through times of stress and struggle. He’s known just how to support her, and she him…)
The other has to do with feeling AMAZING MAGNETIC attraction. Just as Angelina has this for Brad, Melanie has this for Antonio.
So, despite the fact that she “wandered” in her past relationships, she likely didn’t “wander” from him.
This has made her wild about him… and is part of why they got serious so quickly (meeting, divorcing their spouses, and marrying within a year…) To have this ON TOP of their Mars/Venus, Venus/Venus connection is pretty darn amazing.
This makes her extremely bonded to him, and willing to do whatever it takes to make things stick…
So – you’re likely asking, “Then WHAT THE HECK happened? And why are they splitting?”
And here’s where sometimes GOOD things can work against us…
Because Melanie is SO intensely focused on relationships… and attracted to Antonio… and HIGHLY SENSITIVE (because of Ketu in her first house, and a few other things), it would be VERY difficult to be apart while working, and to handle rumor and intrigue involving other people.
The most painful thing between their stars is that Melanie’s chart says she’d be “the leader” between them. This typically makes a woman feel more bonded to her man – sexually and emotionally – than he does to her.
(Prince Charles and Princess Diana had this problem, as did Reese itherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, Brad and Jen, and Sandra Bullock and Jesse James…)
If it were HIS chart that were “magnetically attracted” to HERS, it would help offset this.
But they have the DOUBLE WHAMMY of her stars being SO drawn to his in TOO BIG of a way, and though I think he’s been crazy about her, too, it’s been out of balance.
He also is highly sensitive, with the Sun and Moon in the emotional, watery signs of Cancer and Pisces, and also having Ketu in his first house, and all of that makes a man LOVE and NEED lots of attention.
It can also make a man have a hard time finding security within himself.
In fact, in the ancient “Capacity” techniques of Vedic astrology (which reveal what kind of partner a man will be, and are described in a report called “Chart His Heart” say about men like Antonio (this is what it would say to Melanie if she were to order one):
“Ketu in the ascendant will make him go about life in a less masculine way and at times he will have a lack of confidence, low self-assurance and not be strong enough in the face of others who may oppose him. These things can also give you reason to feel frustrated with him. Ketu in this position makes him his own worst critic, like he has to be perfect. He only sees how many points he missed, never how many points he earned. His lack of self-assurance does not come from any lack of talent or ability – actually, he is very able, it comes from realizing that no matter how well he performs, it is not perfect and since he is only happy with perfection, he easily sees himself as a failure. The cure for this is simple humility, realizing that he is just a man and as a man, perfection is an illusionary, impossible goal, and that true perfection is indeed just doing one’s best.”
“This position indicates a man who really just wants to love and be loved. If he is not able to be open and honest with you it will upset the entire relationship to the point that you just won’t feel right. As a result you will likely start sabotaging the relationship and causing drama as you try to stir things up so that you can figure out where he really stands in your life.”
So – despite being a highly successful, attractive movie star, I think he’s somewhat moody and insecure who thrives on lots of attention (and to be fair, who’d be very loving and attentive, as well).
And the fact that she’s been SO INTO HIM has helped them stay together… but also contributed to her being too affected by him and too sensitive to his moods and behaviors.
Given how relationship-oriented, and bonded they are, I don’t doubt that it has taken them much time and thought to decide to part – and I wouldn’t be surprised if they doubt and revisit this decision, and have a hard time ever feeling so intensely connected for so long to anyone else.
As for the astrological timing of it all, neither Melanie or Antonio are in painful Cycles of Saturn now, but both of their charts are going through painful timing in other ways (he entered his most challenging “Planetary Period” about a year ago which lasts for several more, and over two years ago the planet of separation and loss (yup, Saturn) has been sitting in her house of partnership – a big “make or break” time for married couples). So I think they’ll suffer without each other more than they think they will.
I think they’ll likely look back on this relationship as the great love of both of their lives… and wish them and their children much peace and luck.
Photo By: David Shankbone, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
