I’ve been waiting to write about Sandra Bullock and Jesse James for weeks…
It’s all just been so sordid, and seemly… and sad.
Especially given that she JUST WON AN OSCAR and barely got to celebrate before her world came crashing down… and the fact that she and Jesse just recently won full custody of his youngest child… sigh.
I keep getting asked about them, and so wanted to address things…
I’ve been hoping for some sort of end to the story – some sort of resolution or some something before I weighed in…
But so far the drama is still unfolding and poor Sandra is staying mostly mum.
How did this happen?
They seemed like they were beating the odds… the “mismatch” seemed so happy all these years…
The question I’m being asked over and over is, “Why would a woman like Sandra – a talented, successful, powerful, accomplished woman like that – from a good family – pick such a jerk?”
And here’s my surprising answer:
It’s BECAUSE she’s so talented, successful, powerful, and accomplished.
Huh?
I’ve seen it a million times…
Here in the “pop psychology” culture of the West, we like to diagnose each other as having “low self-esteem.”
And we like to blame most of our problems – especially in relationships in which we’re not treated well – on this “low self-esteem” stuff.
But I’ve found something that’s actually the very OPPOSITE.
It’s not low self-esteem that’s a woman’s biggest weakness when it comes to picking a healthy man.
It’s often her HIGH SELF-ESTEEM that does that.
Why?
She’ll meet a man with a SPOTTY or BAD background, known for his BAD BOY behavior. (Like Jesse – divorced twice with LOTS of drama and LEGAL ISSUES in his love life.)
And she’ll think, “He was like that before but he wasn’t WITH ME then. Once he’s WITH ME, he’ll be different.
My life is so much more together than those other women’s… I have so many more resources to make us happy. He’s really in love with ME. I’m sure he wasn’t with them…
I can handle him! No problem.”
And he’ll add to her illogical logic by saying things like he’s changed and grown, and he was just young and stupid then…
And he’s been waiting for a REAL WOMAN like HER to REALLY COMMIT to.
Get it?
Not only that, but a STRONG woman is just that – STRONG.
When a man is moody or difficult, she can be happy anyway.
She can COMPENSATE for his weaknesses, often keeping her from NOTICING them or giving them as much importance as she should!
One woman I work with, who was married for more than a decade to a cheating, angry man, used to tell herself when he behaved badly, “Oh – he’s in so much pain… he had such a bad time as a child… I’m so lucky to be so much more healthy than he is… I just have to love him through this.”
(Cue the scratching record and EXPLODING NUCLEAR BOMBS right about now…)
So, please, if you ever say those things to excuse a man’s bad behavior – STOP IT…
And then ask yourself, “Is this what I want for the REST of my life?”
‘Cause you just might spend that long trying to “love him through it…”
Again… and again… and again…
Arg.
By now you’re thinking, but what about the stars? What do they have to say about Sandra and Jesse?
Let’s go to the astrological vault, shall we?
The first thing I do when I look at a couple astrologically, is look at them individually…
And in the case of a man who cheats, I want to see his “signs.”
But not the “normal” twelve signs of the zodiac – a more important zodiac for revealing a man’s TRUE, deep psychological nature.
The twenty-seven signs of Vedic astrology, the very first signs in the history of the world.
And – yup – you guessed it – Jesse has his Sun, Moon, and rising sign all in Vedic signs known for DRAMA and infidelity!
No kidding – here’s what I say about his Vedic rising sign in my program, “Signs of Compatibility.” It’s called “Bharani” (and – I swear I’m not making this up – is symbolized by a woman’s private parts):
“These people constantly desire new experiences – especially in relationships… Their morals can be ‘overly adaptable,’ and associated with infidelity… tendency toward jealousy or being the object of jealousy, can be controlling, excessive and indulgent sexually, tend to feel oppressed by rules…”
Here’s what I say about his Vedic Moon sign, which is called “Krittika.”
“The person may be a glutton, fond of the spouses of others, and possess widespread fame… The myth of Krittika has to do with the six sisters (the stars of the Pleiades) being falsely accused of infidelity, so it can have to do with affairs, or sexually illicit things. Known for having huge sexual appetites or interests.”
This is the Moon constellation of Bill Clinton and Mick Jagger – need I say more?
And lastly, about Jesse’s Vedic Sun sign, which is called, “Aswini” I say:
“These people are known to be impulsive, aggressive, stubborn, have lust with lack of discretion, be childlike in their selfishness unable to see how their actions affect others.”
Sigh…
Amazing, isn’t it?
That’s how incredibly accurate the Vedic signs are!!! (His go on to say he’d have a “love of vehicles,” artistic talent in which he uses precision and sharp tools, and more…”)
To learn all about the man in your life and his TRUE inborn personality and relationship potential (is he a cad or a king?) check out my audio program about it all.
Stop beating yourself up and working too hard- find out how the man is REALLY wired by going here now: Signs of Compatibility.
So, when you’re choosing a man or struggling with one, ask yourself – WHO IS HE, and is this problem TYPICAL OF HIM and PART OF THE DEAL of being with him, or is it between the two of you?
‘Cause when you meet a BAD BOY – who has ALWAYS been one before, let me assure you THAT THIS IS HIS NATURE – that’s the KIND of man he is…
And you don’t have enough fairy dust or force of will to change him – any more than you could change the breed of your dog from an aggressive Jack Russell Terrier to a passive Poodle…
And it has NOTHING to do with how wonderful you are or even how much he loves you!
If it’s TYPICAL OF HIM (as it is in the case of Jesse!) then there’s nothing a woman like Sandra (no matter how rich, beautiful, strong, smart, she may be) can do…
As for what’s BETWEEN them, when we look to their Vedic signs to reveal compatibility, which is far more accurate than looking at the “normal” signs and how they go together, something becomes instantly clear.
Sandra is the LEADER between them.
This is not good.
This makes a woman feel more sexually bonded to a man than the man does to her.
And, over time, she’ll become more and more insecure in the relationship, and she won’t feel loved.
When the woman is the leader, the man often drifts away or leaves her.
This was the deal with Princess Diana and Prince Charles, with Reese Witherspoon and ex-husband Ryan Phillipe, and with Brad and Jen…
So it’s not Sandra’s fault – it’s just how the energy flows (or rather CLOGS) between them.
To find out if you’re the leader with the man in your life or if he is, you can do this for yourself by learning the quick technique (and having it on hand for the future, to check out as many men as you like) in my “Signs of Compatibility” program which you can find here: Right Man Report
I wish Sandra and Jesse’s children well – and I encourage her to MOVE ON (though I do believe that sex addiction is a real thing, and that many people can be rehabilitated for it – I’m just doubtful how much it can work on this guy…).
I hope in the future she picks a man truly worthy of her – who is needs no major healing or improving…
